she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
