lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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