if you like me you must not know who I am
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
