Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
