oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
