I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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