Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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