Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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