If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
