My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
