and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
