you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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