I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
