i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
