I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
