I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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