My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
