Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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