Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
