I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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