At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
