from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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