But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
