So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
