Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
