just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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