So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
