Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I want her autograph on my taint
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
