Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

You guys coming?

(1-805): View more from California

We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure

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(757): View more from Virginia

Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy

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(925): View more from California

So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.

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(760): View more from California

i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."

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(707): View more from California

she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?

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(207): View more from Maine

I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!

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