I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just cut my nipple shaving
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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