i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
