Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
