We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
