just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
