Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
