Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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