oh god the rape fog is back!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
