They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Come on in and take your pants off
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