sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
