just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just cut my nipple shaving
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
