Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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