So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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