He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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