It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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