I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
