sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
