tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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