Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
