we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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