I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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